Jealousy Can Be Horrible
by MissingMommy
Summary: Here's a tale of Petunia's five most important kisses in her life and how they affected her. Rated teen for chapters two and three. Written for the Five Kisses Challenge. P/V
1. Your first kiss

If you were being honest, you were terribly jealous of your little sister. She had everything you ever wanted; the beautiful looks, the warm and caring personality, the loving friends. You had none of that. You were average with straight blonde hair and blue eyes too big for your round face. You were easily overlooked, a loner. But not your sister; she _couldn't_ be overlooked.

Even at a young age, she was different than you were. Everyone was drawn to her like moths to a light. They _adored_ her. You never received a second look whenever she was around. Even from your parents because they were always fawning over your sister and her freakish abilities.

Yet, you couldn't help but feel envious of her. Every year you picked her up from Kings Cross Station. You would see that messy haired boy try desperately to get her attention. You wanted someone to beg for your attention like he did. But you knew it wouldn't happen when your perfect sister was around for the holidays. She would come home gushing about the new things that happened to her throughout the year; her first E, her first Hogsmeade trip, her first kiss.

She was only thirteen, yet she's already had her first kiss. It was yet another thing to be jealous of. You were fifteen and hadn't been kissed yet. So you decided to kiss any guy you could. The next day you begged your mum to take you into town to shop for different clothes. You weren't going to get kissed wearing the baggy, boyish clothes you'd been wearing. Besides, it was time for a change. When you returned home with arms filled with bags of new clothes, make up, and accessories, you felt like a new person.

Everyone noticed your transformation. It was kind of hard to miss; the girl who swore never to wear dresses and skirts and form-fitting shirts now wore them constantly. It did exactly what you wanted it to; it got you noticed for the first time in fifteen years. Whenever you started caring about your appearance, boys started to notice you. You wished you'd started to care sooner.

Now the boy you've had a crush on for a while couldn't keep his chocolate eyes off of you. You had never been more nervous than you were the day he approached you for the first time. Your words were slurred together and your hands were shaking uncontrollably. But he didn't notice, and for that, you were thankful.

He was your first boyfriend. You were terrified that once he met your family, mostly your freak of a sister, he would run off. For that fact, you two didn't hang out outside of school very much. But you were in love with the black haired boy. And he loved you.

He cornered you after school one day. You were expecting him to break it off with you. But you weren't expecting him to close his eyes and lean in. Your blue eyes were wide with surprise as he pressed his lips to yours. A few seconds later, he pulled away. As you walked home, you couldn't wipe that silly grin off your face.

Your relationship didn't last long, since you refused to let him meet your family. You just hoped that the memory of your first love would never fade away. You always wanted to remember the boy who loved you first. You wanted to remember the way his lips felt against your own; soft yet strong. You promised yourself that you would never forget that boy.


	2. Your second kiss

Your next relationship wouldn't come until after your seventeenth birthday. Your first boyfriend had been a sweet guy, but this guy was different. He was a bad boy with his black clothes and jackets. His bleached hair was a symbol of his rebellion from all authority figures, mainly his parents. He was one of the cool kids that were invited to every party that happened. He had a reputation but you didn't care. It just made you that more interested in him.

When you started going out with him, your parents hoped it would end soon. He was too bad in their eyes, but in yours, he was flawless. You changed because of him. You trashed your "good girl" reputation for him. You just wanted to be popular and he made you just that.

Since you two were an item, you were invited to all the parties. It was a first. You had never been to a party, let alone drank before. You got trashed at the first party you went to. You'll never forget how pissed your parents were when he dropped you off at your house. But with the alcohol flowing through your system, you didn't give a fuck what your parents thought. It was your life and you were going to live it your way.

The more parties you attended, the more you enjoyed the way alcohol made you feel. You were thankful that your boyfriend looked after you. After all, you couldn't handle your booze like he could. He was a pro.

But he wanted something you didn't want to give up, even in your drunken state of mind. You tried to push him away as his lips pressed hungrily against yours. But he was stronger than you were and he had you pinned in the room. His hand roamed your body, touching places you didn't want him to. He started to place kisses up your neck, tracing a path back to your lips. His tongue was hot as he shoved it in your mouth. It wasn't at all how you pictured your first snog to be.

Finally, as tears ran down your cheeks, he stopped. He yelled at you for a being a baby and broke up with you. You sat in that bedroom alone, crying your eyes out for ages after he slammed the door. Thankfully, you never saw him again.

The parties you went to after that, you were sure never to let things get to out of hand.


	3. Your third kiss

**A/n- Warning: This is femslash. If you don't like, don't read. Also, I don't own anything you recognize.**

You had several boyfriends, but none that lasted that long. They were all stupid and immature. But by the time you were nearly eighteen, you swore off boys for good. You were tired of their games to get in your pants and their childish ways. That one girl changed everything. But you had changed too.

Now you were just trying to enjoy your teenage life. You attended parties every night, drinking your boy troubles away with cheap booze. Your skirts got shorter and you caked on make-up. You had become optimistic about your life because you knew you were going places.

She was beside you every night, drinking with you. She had become the only real friend you had throughout your entire life. She understood you, truly understood you. You weren't the only one with a freakish sibling anymore. Her brother attended that stupid school as well. That's how you met, at Kings Cross Station. You two hit it off quickly. You clicked with her better than you could with any guy.

But one drunken night could've changed your friendship forever. She had been leaning against you, her words slurring from the amount of booze she had already downed. It was the first time you thought of her as anything other than your best friend. She was beautiful with her curled hair hanging loosely from her pony tail and her silver eyes watching you closely. You blame what you did on the alcohol. Otherwise you wouldn't have kissed her. As she kissed you back, you tasted alcohol and cherry Chap Stick. Nobody had tasted better than she did at that moment.

You thought it would be over and that she wouldn't remember anything. But you forgot that she always remembered everything when she was drunk. When she confronted you about it, you thought you lost her friendship forever. She surprised you by kissing you.

Your parents thought it was just a phase when you brought her home. But you didn't. You were in love with her. She was special to you. She wasn't just your girlfriend; she was your best friend. It was your longest relationship yet. Honestly, you were glad that you had sworn off boys forever.

But your parents were right. It was just a phase. You two grew apart and eventually went your own ways. You won't forget the taste of her; a mix of alcohol and cherry Chap Stick.


	4. Your fourth kiss

By the time you had turned eighteen, you had out grew that partying stage you had been going through. Maybe it was because you finally got thrown out into the real world. Your parents felt you were old enough to support yourself. You couldn't help but to resent them a little.

But you did as they asked and found yourself a job. Finally, you were going places. Places that you had only dreamed of going before. That's how you ended up in that office, answering phones and fetching coffee. The job didn't pay as much as you wished it would, but it paid the rent and that's all that mattered.

You couldn't help but to notice that one boy staring at you. His blue eyes were always focused on you whenever he passed. Honey, he made a point to pass your desk often. It took you a while to work up your courage to speak to him. After all, you were only courageous when you had alcohol pulsing through your veins.

Your dance around him begun the day you first squeaked out, "Hello." The dance lasted weeks. Both of you were guilty of dancing around your true goals. It took a while for him to invite you to dinner, but it didn't take you but a few seconds to agree.

You broke out that little black dress you hadn't worn in a while. Flat golden shoes rested on your feet. You attempted to do something with your misbehaving hair. In the end, it rested in curls on your shoulders. Your eyes were lined with black liner. It had been months since you last wore make-up, rivaling the time you spent sober.

That date went better than you could've hoped. So did the next four. All too soon, the relationship was getting serious. He wanted to meet your family. You tried to delay him, you honestly did. You didn't want him finding out about your freakish sister. But the longer you tried to delay him, the more he insisted on meeting them. Your sister was still at that school, so you invited your parents out to dinner. It was just to make him happy. Your dinner with your parents went well. In fact, he was often invited over for dinner. One such occasion, he got down on one knee in the middle of your parent's living room.

Your sister came home from that freakish school during the Christmas holidays, holding the hand of her boyfriend. It was the first one she'd brought home to meet the family, so you guessed it must be serious. Your parents forced the four of you to attend dinner at a local restaurant, in hopes that you would mend your broken relationship with your sister. By the end of the night, her boyfriend had stormed out of the restaurant and your sister was left there, crying. It didn't mend your relationship with her. That night caused a bigger rift in between you and her.

A few days later, you were standing in the back of the church, getting ready for your big day. Your blonde hair was pulled back in an elegant knot with a few loose curls framing your round face. Light, natural looking make-up had been applied to your face to intensify your blue eyes. Your bridesmaids helped you slip into your dress. Your ex-girlfriend zipped you into the floor length, form-fitting white dress you'd been dying to wear.

"I'm glad you found a good man that treats you well, Petunia," she whispered in your ear. Her breath tickled your ear and you found yourself reminded of the nights you spent with her.

You glance around the room, checking to see that everything was perfect. Only three girls stood before you; your ex, your fiancé's sister, and your best friend from your childhood. They all looked beautiful in their knee length, light blue dresses.

As you were lining up to march out, your sister slipped in the dressing room. "Tuney, I know we haven't had the best relationship, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm happy for you," she whispered to you. Before you had a chance to reply to her, she disappeared.

You watched as your bridesmaids walked down the aisle. All too soon, you heard the wedding march and your father took your arm. All eyes were on you as you walked down to your soon-to-be husband. You smiled a watery smile as your father kissed you on the cheek.

He stared at you as he repeated all the right words at the right time. You never felt more loved than you did at that moment. The preacher said the words you'd been waiting for the entire day, "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." He leaned in and pressed his lips to yours. It had to be the sweetest kiss you'd experienced. It definitely was the most important kiss of your life.


	5. Your fifth kiss

You were happy to be married to him, you really were. But your marriage had finally broken all ties you had with your sister. For three years, she didn't speak to you. Hell, you didn't even know she married that boyfriend of hers. You had better things to do than speak to a freakish sister like her.

You were home alone with your baby boy. It was still early in the day and your husband wouldn't be home for a while. You were shocked when you heard a tapping at the living room window. The tapping reminded you of all the times owls delivered your sister those letters. Despite not wanting to, you knew the owls wouldn't leave until you'd taken the letter from them. So, you yanked the letter from its grasp and watched it fly into the morning sky.

You saw your sisters' neat writing on the front of the envelope. After three years, she had finally decided to speak to you. You thought long and hard about throwing away the letter without opening it, but your curiosity got the best of you and you tore it open. Inside were two pictures.

The first one was a picture of her holding a boy within her arms, while looking at the boy she had brought home three years ago. _Harry James Potter, born on July 31, 1980_, she wrote on the bottom of the picture. You took a long look at your nephew. He had your sisters' eyes, but looked exactly like his father.

The second picture was of the two of you as kids. You recognize this picture. You hadn't seen it in years. It was back before she was a freak and your relationship with her wasn't broken to pieces. _I found this a while back. I thought I would send you it as a reminder of how we used to be. I still love you, Tuney. Nothing can change that. I hope we can fix our relationship. Love, Lily._

You never mended your relationship with her. You never tried. When you awoke a year later, you found your nephew on your doorstep. A letter explained what had happened. Your sister and her husband were killed.

You never told your husband about the pictures. You stuffed them in a dresser drawer and you still peak at them occasionally. You looked at them when you wanted a reminder of how you and your sister were. Secretly, you miss her. You miss how you used to be; before magic got in the way.

;~;

It took you years to finally gather the courage to go. It was your first time here, the graveyard in Godric's Hollow. You wormed your way through the graveyard, looking for one specific grave. You knelled down in front of the headstone. Your sister's and brother-in-law's names were etched perfectly in the marble headstone that you now glanced at.

Many things have changed in the past few years. Your life had changed. You had changed. You no longer cared about seeming perfect. You learned a long time ago that no one is perfect. Well, except her, your sister; she had always been perfect.

As you sat before her grave, you realized that you should've never pushed her away. It was the thing you regretted the most in your life. Your relationship with her had never been the best, you couldn't deny that. But if you would've tried a little harder, maybe your nephew would've grown up a little different. Maybe you wouldn't have taken your anger and jealousy out on her son. Maybe you would be on more than just Christmas card terms with him. You wonder how differently your life would've been if you wouldn't have pushed her away.

Tears start pouring down your cheeks. You never meant for your relationship with her to turn out this way. "I'm sorry, Lily. I'm really sorry," you sob. You continue to sob those words to deaf ears. It had truly been twenty-one years too late. After you collect yourself, you press your lips to the cold marble. As your eyes shut, you wished that she was there to forgive you.

You walk out of the graveyard as silently as you entered. The weight on your heart had been lifted. But the only thing showing you had been there were the footsteps that were still in the snow and a lone photograph of sisters embracing tightly that sat at the base of the headstone.


End file.
